When I was a sixteen I didn’t pray much, but there is one prayer that I did pray, (it’s okay to breathe mom), I used to pray for a great wife. I’m not sure what you were thinking I was praying for. Prayer answered, I have an amazing wife. Now that I have your full attention with a great opening I will explain the title. It’s not some story that is going to get published in the annals of the risqué times, but a story of pure cuteness.
Part of the bed time routine with my daughters and wife is to pray. We sit on the floor in one of the girls rooms. Since we take turns putting them to bed the one I am not putting to bed sits in my lap and vice versa. Prayer time is always interesting. Some nights the girls will behave like little angels folding there hands and singing a melody of prayers for their friends and the kitty. Then other nights you’d swear that Tasmania unleashed it’s little fur balls upon us hopped up on caffeinated pixy stixs. Instead of sweet prayers it’s booty shaking and “I don’t want to pray” spouting from their pretty little faces. Truthfully we have a lot more great nights than bad.
The greatest moments are when Ayla and Joss recite the most beautiful and outwardly thoughtful prayers. On a few occasions they have talked about being thankful for Jesus and excited that they get to go to heaven and pray for everyone to go. In those moments I am thankful that they are learning to pray early on. Though they are not perfectly behaved every prayer time we just want them to be comfortable and thankful they can converse with God.
The most common request during their prayer time is “Lord, please help … insert “booboo”. A few weeks ago Joss came down with a yeast infection in her, as I first used to refer to it when Ayla was born, her “area.” Using the “V” word just didn’t sound right when speaking about a little girl. There are all sorts of ways to refer to that part of the female anatomy such as privates, blossom, flower, hoo-ha, several involving animal names, shellfish, various food entrees and deserts. In fact if you research it you’ll never be the same. My new personal favorite via the Big Bang Theory is the “neather yaya”, hey my first German word. So many options, because who really wants their three year old talking about their vagina. I really just want to call it “that special place ain’t nobody gonna touch till you are married.” This is my new daily prayer, “Lord, please protect my girls from boys and help me develop a deeper intimidating voice, stronger, muscles, and a more accurate shot, AMEN.”
All this build up for Joss’ special prayer, “Dear Lord, please help my vagina feel better.” (we went anatomically correct in our house because they were referring to it as their bottom and it was confusing us parents.) It’s the sweetest and weirdest little prayer. She was healed up in no time, just a few days later with God’s help and modern medicine put together her “area” was back to normal. The problem is that every night for the past few weeks she prays the same prayer. She is definitely thorough. I don’t want to impede her prayer since she is so sincere. I just roll with it.
I am so thankful that my girls are learning prayer early and that God will give you the desire’s of your heart when the align with his will. That’s the key as stated in 1 John 5:14-15 “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. 15 And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.”
It has taken me a while to become a consistent praying man. I am constantly working on it. The innocence of a three year old praying is often what I miss in my selfish and stressed out prayers at times. I can learn a lesson from my little girl. When she prays she whole heartedly believes. I know there are times I do and I am fully connecting with God like a child and there I times when I pray with doubt creeping in because of my overthinking, overstressing adult ways.
Next time you pray remember the innocence of a child like faith. The world may be better with a little less Vagina Monologues and more Vagina Prayers.
Joseph Cortez 