When you go to the electronic store and buy a new TV or computer they come with an instruction manual and even a quick start guide. Laid out before you is everything you need to know about your new toy.
On the other hand when you leave the hospital after the birth of your new baby they send you away with a few diapers and a pink and blue beanie cap. A few congratulations later they boot you out the door and only call if the check doesn’t cash. Okay that may be a little harsh, but not far from the truth. Since we were self-pay with my second daughter Joss we only stayed in the hospital exactly 24 hours and left for home at 2 a.m. There we were with baby number two off to a relive the adventure of a newborn. I was hoping this time they would run after us and say “We forgot to give you this last time you were here. It’s a manual for your kids.” Alas, no such luck.
I believe most parents wish there were a manual with a trouble shooting guide in the back. You could simply go to the index look up “Not Eating” and find the green bean reset button. I personally would love to find the anti-whining feature. I have often tried to shut off the 3 year old’s tantrums by hitting the panic button on my car remote just hoping somehow the signal would redirect to my little girls brain. All I ever get is the whaling of a horn which sets off the 15 months old panic alarm.
A lot of parenting is trial and error. People often forget that life it self is trial and error. Failure is not and end, it’s a chance at a new start. I know when I try something and it doesn’t work it gets frustrating. I want it to be simple, yet I know the hardest part about parenting is that what works easily and quickly is not what’s best for the child. The easy thing to do is dump candy on the tantrum. When I see parents doing this I just want to scream “enabler”. Then when my daughter is acting up one of the first thoughts that comes to mind is “I wonder if those candy parents have it right.” Then logic returns. The thing to remember is that you have to keep hope and passion alive. You need to have hope that you are raising beautiful children even when they don’t seem like it. You have to have passion for their lives. This is what keeps people from giving up and sticking with the hard stuff. Don’t give up on your kids, just because it gets hard. Everything in life worth having is hard and nothing is more worth having than great kids.
If there was a manual for our kids it may simply read the following:
Step One: Love them.
Step Two: Do what’s best for them and not what’s easy.
Step Three: Speak good words into their lives and never call them names.
Step Four: Your children are unique. They don’t think like you nor act like you, don’t try to make them.
Step Five: Seek out knowledge on parenting from wise people.
Step Six: Learn as much as you can about yourself. Then you can better understand how you relate to others.
Step Seven: Love them some more.
Something I have decided to do is keeping a journal so I can remember the stuff that works and the stuff that doesn’t. Just a few simple notes of things I’m learning along the way. In some ways this will serve as a manual for me.
Ultimately the manual you need is not for your kids, but for you as a parent. Press on because your kids need you.
Till next time its a blessed life
Joseph Cortez
Joseph Cortez 