Have you ever felt like nothing is going your way? Had the feeling that your absolutely perfect plan has been trampled on by a giant problem? If you are human you have. We all suffer from this. We hold on tight for control and want everyone to fit snuggly into our well laid plan and order we have for our lives.
In attempts to control the outcome of everything, from the other cars on the road, world politics, the contractors building your new house (my current dilemma), or how your co-worker’s respond to your brilliant idea, you probably have come to the conclusion that it is not possible. The reality is we only have control over one person in this world, that amazing person you gaze at in the mirror.
The bible says in Proverbs 16:9 (NLT) “We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.” This is one of my favorite scriptures because it reminds me that God is ultimately in control of all things. Romans 8:28 says “ And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him…” No matter what goes wrong, all things will work for good. This doesn’t mean all things will be easy, or life will be comfortable, just that in the end all things will work for God’s purpose.
One of the greatest lessons in life I have learned is that life is basically 20% situation and 80% reaction to situation. Much of the stress we have in life is based on things and people we have no control over.
Spending energy and mental power focusing on things we can’t control take away our focus from accomplishing the things that are important in life. You may be having dinner with your spouse or spending time with your children to find your self distracted by a problem at work that has no chance of resolution till the next day. By letting your thoughts be anywhere other than you are takes away from the enjoyment of life and that of those around you. I have often caught my self working on a task in the morning only to be thinking about the 3 pm appointment I have. If you have ever been through this there is hope. In his book The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle, talks about missing life by ignoring the now moments by being stuck in the past or anxious about the future.
When you catch yourself focusing exclusively on the past or about the future, catch yourself and take a few deep breaths. Focus on where you are at the moment, who your with, what you are doing. This will interrupt the thought pattern your brain has engaged in. This is not an instant fix but a discipline that can be learned over time. A discipline, like any discipline, that must be continually exercised to stay powerful.
By learning how to stay focused to the present you’ll be able to over come the frustration of things you can’t control. You’ll be able to focus on the situation at hand more clearly and come up with better solutions and take more effective action. You may even realize what you have been stressing about is not as bad as you think.
No matter how bad your day is going or what situation you are facing know that you are an important person in this world and that you do make a difference.
Joseph Cortez 